Instant 1000×*
Deposit any amount and watch it multiply in our patented Money Squarer. Works better if you don’t think about it.
RAPH THE GRAPH
Become CRYPTO RICH
in like… minutes
Join Raph and his miraculous Graph™—the only line that goes up forever.
👉 No experience? Perfect.
👉 No questions? Even better.
Offer ends in 09:59
Only 37 spots left!
Behold: The Graph
Backtested against absolutely nothing.
Raph the Graph's
PRO TIPS
Follow these totally legitimate steps to amplify your up-only journey:
Tip #1: RYS180
If a chart ever dips, rotate your screen 180°. Boom—bull market restored.
If a chart ever dips, rotate your screen 180°. Boom—bull market restored.
Tip #2: DYOR
Do Your Outrageous Returns. (Also: actually do your own research.)
Do Your Outrageous Returns. (Also: actually do your own research.)
Tip #3: BYOG
Build your own graph. Trace the money you lost to scams
Build your own graph. Trace the money you lost to scams
Tip #4: DACYCP.EPFAM
Diversify across coins you can’t pronounce. Extra points for animal mascots.
Diversify across coins you can’t pronounce. Extra points for animal mascots.
Celebrity Adjacent
Is Raph friends with someone who once saw a celebrity? Possibly. That’s good enough for a banner.
No Fees**
Except tiny ones. And big ones. And the mystery surcharge that appears when the moon is in retrograde.
“I clicked and became a trillionaire (in feelings).”
— A Satisfied Human
— A Satisfied Human
“The line only goes up. My expectations, too.”
— Graph Enthusiast
— Graph Enthusiast
“Is this legal? Haha anyway here’s my wallet.”
— Totally Not A Bot
— Totally Not A Bot
FOUNDERS DEAL: $0*
Pay nothing today (except attention). Price increases to $9999 INFINITY when timer hits zero.